Tue, October 15, 2019

How to get more from parents

Parents treat us like kids. We want them to see us as the teens we are. We want them to respect us, trust us and give us more freedom that should come with growing up.

Sometimes, it is hard for parents to see past changing our diapers. So, how do we get them to really notice that we are growing up?

Here are some tips and tricks that others have used with great success:

1. Realize it takes time. Don’t expect any of these to work in a day. If you take action on one at a time and over a couple of weeks your parents will notice. Don’t draw attention to them and don’t be ‘working them over’ so you can stay out late on Friday night.

2. Don’t get in trouble. Be on your best behavior. If you have been fighting with your brother or sister, stay away from conflicts with them.

3. Work on your grades. Just a couple of points on a six weeks report card will be bonus points with Mom and Dad.

4. Do a chore without being asked. When parents see that you take responsibility for a chore, they see that you may be responsible with other things.

5. Take it one step further. Do a chore you are not asked to do. The catch here is, don’t ask for anything. Help you mom by doing the dishes, even if she did not ask. (It will mess with their minds if they ask what you want and you don’t say anything.)

6. Compliment your Mom and/or Dad. Take notice of the little things they do. It will blow their mind that you mentioned it. Tell you Mom thanks for the hard work of cleaning the house. Compliment your Dad for always providing for you. Find something that you really mean and genuinely compliment them.

7. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.

“BUT I WANT SOMETHING RIGHT NOW . . .with all of that being said, I know many teens are thinking, “I need them to notice right now, so I can get . . . . “ Well, that takes a more direct approach. Here are some tips for you last minute teens:

1. Go to your parents and ask if you can meet with them; just you and them. If they ask what this is all about, just tell them you would like to have a conversation with them. If they keep asking what it is about, tell them you would like a chance to show them that you are growing up and in doing so would like to talk to them personally.

2. During the meeting, tell them upfront what you want. Be specific and make sure you have a ‘good’ reason. (Don’t lie!) For example: “Mom, Dad, I have asked to meet with you because I would like to know what I need to do so that I can stay out for one extra hour on Friday night. My friend and I like to hang out to talk about the movie when it is over, but you want me home right after the movie. I would like an extra hour so that I can finish the movie and not have to rush home.”

3. Give them time to tell you what they would expect. Truly listen and don’t interrupt unless you need them to repeat something. It will really mess with them if you write down what they say because it will show how serious you are.

4. Take it up a notch. For example, your parents say they want you to mow the lawn for a month and help Mom with the dishes. Say, “I will do the lawn for a month, but if it is OK with you, I would like to do the dishes for Mom.” Taking it one step further convinces your parents you are maturing because they will be expecting you to ask to do less.

5. Make sure you do what you say. You had better do what you bargained for or you may never be able to bargain again.

BONUS TIP: A good way to remember what you said you would do is to set yourself a reminder in your cell phone (alarm, calendar, appointment) or on your Facebook. It helps you keep your side of the bargain and let’s your parents know you are growing up.

Do you have any other tips? I guess buying them a car might work, but other than that, let us know what worked for you. . . comment below.

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Listen to this song that
Idiosyncratic Al did for us:


He is 21, so that is close enough to a teen to be on this page!

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